Oh, boo..

I'm already dreading this weekend now. I'm looking forward to Mak's gymnastics show tomorrow, and my brother and my cousin's graduation party. And that's it. Dave Weddle and I were supposed to be doing a joint party at his house tomorrow, with a bunch of people, hanging out, going muddin, etc. Welp..he invited Aaron. And he's going. So I'm not. I don't want to go celebrate my birthday and be miserable the whole night because Aaron will be there with Nikki. So I reckon, once again, that'll I'll be doing nothing for my birthday. So yeah. I'm kinda bummed about that.

Brian flipped out on me again. So that's it. I'm done fighting with him to be in his daughter's life. That was the last straw. I told him if he can't be a constant in MaKenzie's life, then don't be there at all. He's been saying he's going to come see her and talk to her every day. He came and saw her ONCE and maybe talked to her on the phone about 4 or 5 times. So I'm done. It's not fair to Mak for her to think she's done something wrong and her daddy doesn't want to see her anymore. It breaks my heart that he doesn't want to be in her life, but I'm more worried about her hearting breaking.

BUT!! I got my official notice from the shipyard!! I start August 16th. The first year I have school, but that's ok with me. I'm looking to put Mak in school in the fall as well.

Regardless....I'm really ready for a break.

It's a big day!

Today my little brother graduates high school!! I can't believe he is done with high school already. It feels like he justed started high school this year. I'm excited to go see him walk across that stage.

I took Thursday and Friday off this week because I needed a break. Thursday I'm going to go have lunch with my sister and Friday I'm taking Mak to Busch Gardens for the first time. I haven't been there in over 6 years. So some friends and I are going, and taking the kids. Apparently there is a huge Sesame Street place now, so I know Mak will have fun. I bought our season tickets yesterday, and just did the pay plan, so I only pay 16 dollars a month, which isn't bad at all. So I'm excited to take her there this week.

On the 19th, Mak has her gymnastics show they put on at the end of the semester. She did fairly well in the last one, but she's been in gymnastics a lot longer and I can't wait to see her in the show this year. :)

Life

No matter how bad things are, just know someone, somewhere...is going through a rougher time than you.




Time to keep my head up and be happy. I deserve it. And finally letting myself believe it.




Love my family, my friends. Especially Amanda, Abby, Cassie, Becky & Dana, Edward.. Love you guys, for your own individual thing you bring into my life.

June...really?

I can't believe it's June already!! This year is really flying by. We had a good Memorial Day weekend. My bestest Cassie's birthday was the 30th, so I hope she had a WONDERFUL day! Love her bunches. Hung out over Becky's house saturday night, went to Amanda and Ryan's last night. I've been hanging out with Becky a little more and more. Her and I used to be friends way back in middle school and we drifted ways. Her mom is the one who took my boxer Nemo for me. But we've been hanging out more, which is nice. Her whole family is more... "country bumpkin" I guess you would call it. I guess people tend to look down on them cause people assume they are "white trash" and they aren't. They are really good people. But when everyone comes over to the house there is like 8 kids running around lol. Family is really important to them, so they get together every weekend. Even though I haven't really been around these people in years, they just accept Mak and I as if we've been there all along. They have a good time, and don't have to spend a bunch of money to go out and do it. So it's nice.

Brian (Mak's father) came over Sunday and spent some time with her, so that was nice. She was so excited to see him. I'm glad he came over and played with her. They watched Ice Age together. It makes me happy to see MaKenzie happy, and I'd rather have a amicable relationship with Brian anyway, instead of always giving each other attitudes.

As for Rhyan, she's pretty ticked off at me that I won't give her the time of day anymore. She expects me to just forget everything that she's done to me and go back to being best friends with her. And I always have before. But maybe I'm growing up a little. I'm finally cutting her out of my life. And it feels good.

I still miss Aaron, and I know in my heart I still love him, but instead of keeping him up on a pedestal, I've been realizing his faults and how he's wronged me too, instead of making excuses for him. It still hurts, but looking at the whole picture is making moving on a lot easier. It's hard seeing him and his new girlfriend at work, but I just hold my head up and keep on smiling. I have far too many things in my life that are good and wonderful, as opposed to wishing for what might have been. We had a good relationship up until the end, so I'll remember the good times and smile, as opposed to being resentful and cry. We had a lot of great memories and I'll cherish them. Everything happens for a reason, and the lesson will show it's face in due time.